This blog is about writing: writing the soul, the heart, the essence of who I am. I don’t have a particular topic to adhere to, but many of my posts involve parenting, teaching, cycling, friendships, and family relationships. I have been writing since I was eight years old, when I wrote a story about cats and everyone who read it said I had a gift. That gift has followed me throughout my life, and though I am not a professional writer, writing will always be an important definition of who I am. I started this blog in January 2010 with a promise to write every day, and I did.
Recently I have been considering pulling this blog off the Internet, as people close to me get offended by some of the poems I post. Yes, I can change my blog… and edit it. Make it full of metaphors. Make it superficial and sweet, as if everything in life is peachy keen. But that wouldn’t be me at all. Everything in life is NOT peachy keen, and I write about MY life and MY take on it. The ironic thing about writing the truth, the brutal truth, and others taking offense, is: why do they choose to read it then? Yes, it’s true, I don’t have to write what I write. But THEY don’t have to read it. This blog, and writing in general, are therapy to me. Sometimes I write things in the middle of a bitter argument, and put in a poem things I might not say aloud, not all of them nice. But looking back days, weeks, or months later, I will at least know the authenticity of how I felt at that moment. It’s a preservation of my emotions captured forever for that moment of time.
Should I put it on the Internet when it is more for me? This is why I do: I say what others often feel or think, but are too afraid or too polite to say. Yes, it gets me in trouble sometimes, and yes, it leads to conflicts in my life. But the conflicts were already there before I wrapped them up in semi-narrative free verse. Does that mean my poetry shouldn’t be published?
I have lost sleep over this, torn myself up over it, asked advice… but ultimately, what it comes down to is this: they’re offended because they are reading my blog. They are reading my blog because they want to know what I really think. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m no good at being someone else, so I think I’ll just continue to be my brutal self, and people will have to have a love/hate relationship with the person they think they know. 🙂