Always a Top Ten

reasons why i stopped:
 one–brutal voice in writing,
 uncensored anger
 
 two–not much laughter,
 too much crying to count
 (my tear stained regrets)
 
 three–exhausted sleep
 from too many restless nights
 swimming in nightmares
 
 four–so much good lost
 on the desire to numb,
 to not fully live
 
 five–waste of money
 in times when we had little,
 in times when we’re rich
 
 six–lust and lack of
 mediocre love-making
 blurred by consumption
 
 seven–fat belly
 of someone too far along
 to give up this quick
 
 eight–every bad choice
 i have made as an adult
 came from that bottle
 
 nine–joy i once felt
 disappeared on icy rocks
 of my lost chances
 
 ten–my daughters’ eyes
 watching every move i make
 (and i’m making… them)
 
 

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