buried beneath the atomic rubble,
deeper than bullshit,
lies a glistening extinction
reemerged for a day of reckoning:
a beauty that goes beyond science,
an art that can’t be painted,
and a gift more magical
than a long-lost remnant of DNA
(i will gather this day,
this extra piece of life
that is four years in the making,
and suck the juice until
my craving for happiness
is pushed back into the Earth)
what i need
after the rollover
the turnover
the “this is over”
is you… overnight
will we ever be over?
for i will never get over you
nor will i move over
to fit my over in another lover
with the setting sun our petals close tight
we push our hearts against safety of night
protected by silver sliver of moon
that will rise full exposure someday soon
the stars move by and our petals fold back
searching for rays of light behind the black
we wait for dawn to open up our flower
our pollen emerging in lovesick hour
the bees around might only see our sprout
their rays not bright enough to let us out
they cannot pull back our petals too far
only admire our flower from afar
there’s only one life on this rooted stem
enough time for us with a little them
a field of flowers could never capture
petal-hid beauty in all its rapture
she says i am reliving my youth.
i am not reliving anything.
i am living the youth i never had.
perhaps somewhere between the bars
that keep us trapped, keep us alive
i will find that young love,
that crazy life
that behind bars
i couldn’t quite release
when youth stood on tiptoes
waiting for me to grab it
there is no music here
nor a drink
just a thousand bodies
rising from the steam
into frosty air
that keeps collected
a blanket full of stars
like zombies
we move from pool to pool
the mist moving
along our backs
as we search the water
for all our lost souls
ravenous predators follow us far
sweet smelling meat across the darkened bar
they will chase us until our tails are tucked
stampeding for safety, we know we’re fucked
i wrap my wings around my precious young
knowing our song has already been sung
i will not allow one ravenous bite
i will defend my love with all my might
nocturnal lust will drive us safely home
our stimulus each other’s hearts alone
their ravenous desire starves them to death
as i take my love in, breath after breath
spring is near
i can’t see crocuses
but the pink sky
of fading dawn
as i step out of the gym
total darkness
no longer my closest friend
on my zippity commute
soon it will be full sun
i’ll strap on my helmet
and pedal past the church
over the hills
that any day of the week
can beat this stationary cycle
i will be a part of the sunrise
that winter has kept from me
i came home drunk that night
seasoned softly, held tight
wrote four poems, mostly for you
the one who swallows my blue
don’t know when i’ll drink again
i can make it now and then
but you? you’ve got me addicted
a love that can’t be evicted
i couldn’t give words to my life
filled with happiness, filled with strife
that seasoned softly makes me feel
that every fantasy is real
with hands apart you covet my soul
with hands together you make me roll
into the whirlwind of desire
that seasoned softly turns to fire
i will never rise
before the dawn
snow comes in and blocks
the thick lines along the road
i was searching for the way home
he sits beside me
he speaks
but not with those words
(those desperate coming-across words)
that only come
in late night moments
i never stopped loving you
and now
as flakes fall
blocking my view
of snowcovered mountains
of the Colorado red
of the roads i’ve driven
a million times
i hear only his desperate words
and the longing
that carried out
will never replace
the love
she could never quite give
you and i.
they will never see
the butterfly still in a cocoon
wrapped in leaflife gauze
waiting for emergence
we will flap our wings
as sparkly as the dollars
i laid on the table
the ones that will
never buy her love
your words are worth
more than a million
i wait for them
as i give in
my weakness played out
in dance songs
and dried out chicken
and antigay remarks
i find myself putting in place
i wait and sing songs
the lyrics haunting every breath
and i feel the flutter
i feel the flutter
your lashes upon my lashes
and it is beauty
she will never see
still wrapped in the cocoon
the one she can’t escape
that makes her
the person who hates
the you and i
i so. love.
